Things I’ve Learned from Living in the Country…

…which you’d think would have been obvious before.

1. If you live on a dirt road in a particularly windy geographical area, you will be dusting much more often. Much, much more often. Particularly in warm weather, when the windows are open.

2. Goats are great for eating weeds. But they don’t know the difference between weeds and grass. And shrubs. And flowers. And the lower branches of pine trees.

3. If you live in the forest, you might not want to wrap your house in wood. The woodpeckers get confused. Which explains the large holes in the side of our house, where a smaller bird has recently moved in, nest, eggs, and all. And birds do not sleep all night long. Which means we don’t sleep all night long, since the interior wall opposite the exterior hole is in our master bedroom.

4. Dandelions are lovely. It’s a lot easier to adopt this mindset than to try to eradicate the happy little buggers from two acres of land. It helps to recite George Washington Carver’s famous quote: “A weed is a flower growing in the wrong place.”  It also helps that I have an endless supply of bouquets, presented by grubby little hands nearly every afternoon.

5. People think it’s really fun to drive as fast as possible on country roads. If you are one of these people, it might interest you to learn that all that dirt you’re kicking up has to land somewhere. (See #1.)

6. I love it, I love it, I love it. Dirt, dandelions, confused wildlife and all.

I’m in Love with a Pedometer (WFMW)

I knew I wasn’t an especially active person. I work out of my home for the most part, and much of my time is spent in a chair, staring at the computer (like now). But it wasn’t until I clipped a rather small, benign-looking gadget to my hip that I realized how sedative I really am.

According to several articles, including this one, a sedentary person walks an average of 1,000 to 3,000 per day. On my first pedometer-laden day, I barely passed 1,200. And that was on a day that I thought I was busy! Pitiful.

So I decided to push it to 5,000. I did a lot of useless pacing. I stood up and walked around the room every time I waited for a website to load (which takes a bit of time since we don’t have DSL). Little things like that. I only made it to 3,000.

The next day, I vacuumed. Now, I wouldn’t say I’m a slob. But you might. So vacuuming is not necessarily a regular habit in this house. I also did an extra load or two of laundry. And I went around the house decluttering a few times that day. I reached (passed!) 5,000 steps, and my house was cleaner than it typically is, unless company’s coming.

Hm. Perhaps I was onto something.

This past week, I increased my goal to 10,000 steps per day, which is the recommended average for maximum health benefit and weight loss. The sheets on all the beds in the house are fresh. The sheets I removed have been laundered and put away, rather than crammed in the hamper for some magical future day when I have extra time. The hard floors have been mopped. There is virtually no clutter anywhere in the house, and the kitchen counters are confused, wondering why all their dirty dish friends have been cutting their visits so short.

Still, all that activity only gets me to about 8,000 steps. So, in the afternoons, when I have the news on, or the girls want me to watch a movie with them, I walk. It annoyed the girls at first, but they’re getting used to it. I walk back and forth behind the sofa, where I am still able to pay attention to whatever’s on the tube but I don’t get in anyone’s way. Yesterday, I knocked off 2,500 steps this way, just walking during the last few minutes of Meet the Robinsons, which the girls have been wanting me to see.

Guess what I normally do when I’m watching tv in the afternoon. I eat. Being notoriously bad at multi-tasking, there is no way I could handle watching, walking and eating. So, without much effort, I have eliminated a few hundred extra calories from my day. Not to mention what I’m burning with all that walking (roughly 300 calories per day when I hit 10,000 steps).

And one more thing: when I run errands, I walk up and down every single aisle now, since it adds hundreds of steps and not much extra time. Side effect? I remember to pick up things that I forgot to put on my list, just because I happen to walk right by them!

My pedometer really works for me. It keeps me moving, it keeps my house clean, it keeps me from mindlessly stuffing my face, and it even keeps my pantry stocked.

Click here to see what works for Shannon!  (Hers is a healthy tip this week, too.)

For the Sake of the Kids

Want to give your children a wonderful treat?  Leave them at home.

I’m well aware of the struggle to find time to go on a date with your spouse.  I’m also well aware of the struggle to find time with the whole family, and the guilt that goes along with that.  It’s tempting to forgo the date in favor of family time.  You know, for the sake of the kids.  Because time goes so fast, and all too soon they’ll leave home, and you can’t get any of that time back.

You want to know another thing you can’t get back?  A marriage relationship that you’ve let wither in favor of playing Monopoly with Junior and Betsy.  When your youngest child drives off in that packed car to college, do you really want to turn to your true love, right there at the edge of the driveway, and find yourself looking at a stranger?

Let me be clear: I am strongly in favor of family time.  We love board games; we love family hikes; we love time together around the dinner table.  We never do as much as I’d like to of any of the above, but that doesn’t mean we don’t try.

What Peter and I don’t do, however, is sacrifice our marriage relationship in the name of our relationships with our daughters.  That would be akin to building a top quality tile roof on a house you’ve constructed of toothpicks and scotch tape.  Our girls need to see us loving one another, making our marriage a priority, and enjoying our time together.  It gives them a sense of belonging to something real, solid, and safe … even fun!

After much trial and error, we have developed a sort of schedule (we do not follow it perfectly, but it’s our master plan).  We set aside every Friday for some activity or another, like so:

1st Friday - Date for Mom and Dad

2nd Friday - Dad gets one girl; Mom gets the other (we switch each month)

3rd Friday - Date for Mom and Dad again!

4th Friday - Family Night

In case you’re thinking that looks expensive, you’re right if you do it the way we started out.  The first month we tried this, we had the loopy notion that we all had to be completely out of the house every Friday evening.  We’ve since figured out that this does not have to (nay, cannot!) be the case.

Family Night might be game night, or dvd and popcorn night, or, on rare occasions, a trip to Arby’s or some other restaurant that the girls love as much as our wallets do.  We also love coupons (more on those later).

When we trade daughters, one pair of us does leave the house, just because it’s more effective that way.  But only one pair leaves, and we make sure we do something within our budget.  Like the dollar theater, or a walk through the neighborhood.  What the girls are really looking for is time to talk to Mom or Dad without a sister there to intrude.  There’s no minimum payment for that.

And on our date nights, we are coupon freaks.  We love the Entertainment Book because, at most restaurants, we only have to pay for one dinner.  This also helps stay out of a restaurant rut, because you can only use the card once per place.  If we don’t have a coupon for the place we’re going, we can still split the meal if we so choose.  We have friends who always get a three-course meal — but only one of each course, with extra plates all along the way.

Not in the mood to eat out?  There are movie ticket deals, event deals, a veritable treasure trove of … well, Entertainment!

Not in the mood to go out at all?  That’s okay, too.  See if you can get sleepovers for your kiddos (make a deal with another date-starved couple to trade nights) and stay home.  We like living room picnics.  We don’t even care what we’re eating, really.  Everything tastes better on a tablecloth, even if it’s on a card table or on the floor.  A candle doesn’t hurt.

If your issue is babysitting, again: you don’t have to actually go out.  If you can’t get sleepovers, you can just delay your date until after the kiddos are in bed.  Perfect time for star-gazing.  Which, of course, is free.

Whatever you decide to do, make sure your date of choice serves its purposes: much-needed time for you and your spouse; and much-needed evidence for your kids of the love you share.

So Far This Morning …

I woke to a misty sky and snow-covered ground, though it was in the 60s just yesterday.

Once the sun had made its way through the haze, brightening the trees and tinting our dirt road yellow, the snow began to melt and disappear.

Before it had gone completely, more snow was falling.

The sun eventually turned the snow to rain, but the cold air fought back and turned the rain to sleet.

And now, as I write this, the sun has pushed back once again, and even the rain drops are fading.

I’ve only been up for three hours.

It’s intriguing to me that I can so thoroughly enjoy — even be thrilled by — the unpredictability of the weather here at the foot of the mountains. And yet I cannot seem to handle the slightest surprise in my daily routine.

Perhaps I should begin to look at my circumstances as snow, rain, sun, and sleet. Maybe then I’d enjoy the ride.

The Wounds of a Friend

Don’t you hate it when someone talks about how busy they are?  Me, too.  It’s really obnoxious.

So … I’ve been really busy lately.  I have been out of town twice in the last two weeks — my globe-trotting sister would laugh at me, but that’s not my norm, so it throws me.  One of those jaunts was to a writer’s conference, which required extensive preparation beforehand, and (happily!) even more extensive preparation afterward, since two agents asked to see the entire manuscript for my novel.

I’ve also been scrambling to keep up with the end of the school year, both at the school where I teach, and in home schooling.  And I’ve been trying to prepare a short story for the Glimmer Train new writers competition, which happens to be my Holy Grail.

In the midst of all of this, I have dropped the ball quite dramatically in keeping up with friends.  I have not been calling people back, I have been short in my emails.  There’s been an added complication in the fact that our new answering machine is a joke and has not been recording incoming messages.

So, a few days ago, when I emailed a dear friend to see if we could get together for coffee, it didn’t turn out so well.  I realize that emails are notoriously hard to read and can seem terse when they aren’t.  But in this case, she was notably brief and cold.  After a few days of trying to figure out what was going on, I finally squeezed an answer out of her.

She has decided, based on my neglect, that I am not interested in a friendship with her.  I am stunned.  And hurt.  And I feel like defending myself, but I can’t because I have pretty much disappeared from her life lately.  And, to be honest, I haven’t ever been that great in the keeping-up department.

It’s apparently too late for this friendship, based on the finality of her last contact with me.  I am grieving that loss.  And I want to make sure this doesn’t happen again with my other friendships.  How do you, dear readers, make sure you make time for friends, in the midst of all your family, work, church, and dream-chasing obligations?

It’s Here!

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Thanks for reading.

Mandy