Pete and I just started leading a Bible Study at our church. It’s a Home Builders study, published by Family Life Seminars, and it’s entitled Improving Communication in Your Marriage. Thing is, Pete and I stink at communication. People are constantly telling us how different we are, that they can’t imagine how we got together. We are both teachers at a new school — he teaches math and science, I teach literature. On just the third day of school, the students who had classes with us both were already talking about it. “We’re Tigger and Eeyore,” I told them. They agreed.
So why are we leading this study on communication if we’re so lousy at it? We’re leading it because we still need to learn. And anyway, the Home Builders studies are set up so that the “leaders” are just facilitators anyway, not teachers (phew).
When the study was first announced at the church, I got a phone call from a young woman whom we’ll call … Nina. She was “concerned” (I think she meant annoyed) that the study was scheduled for Wednesday evenings, from 6:30 to 8:00pm. She said something like, “I’m in the Young Marrieds group at church, and we had been wanting the church to start some kind of marriage study like this. We’ve been talking about it for a long time. But we all have little babies and they go to bed early so the time it’s scheduled for won’t work.” I said, “Oh, I’m sorry. We scheduled it to go along with the Wednesday night dinner and youth group schedule.” She said, “Yes, I know, but I really think the people that would have come to the study [meaning the young marrieds] won’t be able to come. I hope you’ll have people come to it. I don’t know ….”
It is funny to me that Nina believes the people most interested in working on their marriages are the freshly married. Pete and I have led marriage studies before and all of the couples that have attended had been married at least ten years, sometimes more than twenty. I think it’s because those of us who’ve been on this road for awhile have a keener awareness of how much work marriage really takes!
She needn’t have worried about the attendance. We ordered enough books for five couples. At our first meeting, we had ten couples (including us). So we’re having to delay starting with the books until they arrive from Family Life! We had one couple that has been married for just over a year; the rest of us have been married more than ten, with two couples who’ve passed twenty. We’re excited to see what God will do with this group!
And I’m working on figuring out a way for another group to start for Nina, that will meet on a Sunday afternoon perhaps.