Fear of Fighting

“The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.” ~ A.P. Herbert

Pete and I only dated for a few months before we knew we wanted to get married. At the time of our wedding, we hadn’t yet known each other a year. So there wasn’t much time to get into any significant arguments. I don’t even think we’d argued about parking spaces or asking for directions.

The first time we had a real argument–I believe it was on our honeymoon–I was horrified. I don’t think I had consciously thought that we were never going to argue, I just hadn’t prepared for it. I told Pete that I would never talk to him that way again.

Quit laughing.

Fourteen and a half years later, I can’t remember what that argument was about. I do know it wasn’t our last. Nor was it our most heated.

To be clear, I’m pretty sure we don’t argue any more often than other couples. And we certainly don’t take arguments lightly. But we do take them in stride.

We’re different people. We’re never going to agree on every little thing. The differences that make things interesting sometimes lead to friction. And if we were so like each other that we didn’t ever have a disagreement, I think I’d be bored to tears.



2 thoughts on “Fear of Fighting

  1. I know so many people that had an argument (or two) on their honeymoon. I know we did. Nothing big and I don’t remember what it was about either, but it is funny how you start out thinking things will ALWAYS be so sweet and honeymoon-ish and then reality sets in along with bills, taking care of a home, problems with child rearing and extended family issues and suddenly, you find yourself in the “choosing” part of marriage where it doesn’t all come so easily anymore and you have to choose to do what you promised you would do – love, honor and respect.

    Can you tell I’m right there? 😉

    I love the quote at the beginning of your post!

  2. Funny how you ended this. The reason I “chose” Hubs over the previous guy is because Hubs would fight with me. The other guy just always gave in. Where’s the passion in that? (I don’t mean fight for the sake of fighting, I mean really stand up for what you think, fighting. Of course now we call it “heated discussions”)

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