As Pete and I continue to travel our own particular road of life, which has lately been fraught with potholes and speedbumps and detours, I am finding that feeling so utterly safe with our relationship can be its own sort of problem.
The other day, while discussing our daughter’s health problems (the fevers and headaches continue, and the answers continue to elude us), we snapped at each other and huffed and rolled our eyes until finally ending the conversation in anger.
And then I felt this horrible ache, because I need Pete’s wisdom, warmth, and comfort in the midst of my uncertainty and fear. And he apparently felt the same way, because it wasn’t long before he’d apologized (one of these days, I swear, I’ll be the first instead of him). We cried and we forgave and we agreed that we need more than ever to guard our relationship so we can weather these storms together.
Paradoxically, I think we generally have a problem doing that because we are so sure of each other. Knowing that he’s here for good, it doesn’t feel like a huge risk to be unkind. So, the very fact that our relationship is strong makes me forget to guard against weakening it.
What I need to remember is this: whether or not he stays forever is not the point. The number of years in a marriage does not automatically honor God. It’s the quality of that marriage that counts, and the model we provide to our children and even to other married couples.
I am glad I feel safe. I hope that I will not take that safety for granted, but will build on it with love and kindness and respect. Then, all the dangers can be external and we can face them hand in hand, not back to back.