Why (I Believe) Christians Get Divorced

Please note: This post is entirely my opinion, not based on any studies or statistics whatsoever. Feel free to disagree and to tell me so.  Also, I am only addressing unbiblical divorces–not those caused by adultery or unbelief.

1. Some churches prescribe the Christian life as a road to happiness. That is thoroughly unbiblical. The most obvious examples that would refute that teaching are the disciples and apostles themselves, who were ostracized, tortured, and killed because of their faith. Besides being false on its face, this teaching is dangerous. If people believe that God’s main interest in their lives is to make them happy, they will be confused by the struggles and temptations and pain that life actually presents. This, in turn, leads people to evaluate their lives and try to determine what part of it is causing this unexpected pain–pain which, they’ve been taught, cannot possibly be ordained nor endorsed by God. After all, He wants them to be happy. Frequently, a main source of struggle is the marriage relationship. It’s not easy, even if you’re with your soul mate, to live day-t0-day with another person who is fundamentally different, who might be moody, cranky, selfish, unaffectionate, or sloppy. These misled people will then find it rather easy to believe that God would rather they leave this unhappy marriage than continue in their unhappiness.

2.  Largely because of the faulty assumptions in reason #1, Christians often do not feel free to share their struggles with each other.  If unhappiness is not our God-ordained state, why would we admit that unhappiness to our fellow churchgoers?  And if we don’t share our burdens, we can’t fulfill the command of Galatians 6:2 – “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” This leaves failing marriages with no support system, and nowhere to go but to the divorce court.

And that’s the way I see it.  What about you?

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4 thoughts on “Why (I Believe) Christians Get Divorced

  1. Feel good Christianity? I thought that is the reason for the Starbuck’s kiosk in the foyer.

    Although I do not disagree, I think it may be more simple than you propose. What ‘we’ forget, because it doesn’t feel ‘good,’ is that we have the opportunity to choose who/what we are.

    I feel marriages fail because they are work. Hard work. When one or both decide that it is easier to not work for it, it is doomed, regardless of the reasons.

  2. I think you are both right and then add the additional aspect of living in a ME ME ME society! This marriage isn’t working for ME. Its not meeting MY needs. And the reason I don’t want to work on MY marriage is because I don’t want to. – OH GROW UP!

    And I thought Starbucks in the foyer was to help you stay awake during the sermons 😉

  3. I think it’s also cause they don’t regard marriage as highly as God does. God sees it as a covenant that is not to be broken unless due to adultery or unbelief like His Word says and some obviously don’t agree with what God says and obviously don’t care.
    It’s sad and it breaks my heart everytime I hear of another christian couple divorcing.

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